How a James Corden workout skit helped me get through one battle with depression.

A little while ago, I watched a video of James Corden working out with Mark Wahlberg. Wahlberg has a crazy work out schedule starting at 4 am. Corden is like me, he rarely darkens the gym doors. At the beginning of the work out Mark said something I will never forget. Looking James straight in the eye he said “This is going to suck, just embrace it.”

“This is going to suck, just embrace it.”

Mark Wahlberg

The more I think about it, the more I see the wisdom in the words of Marky Mark. I struggle with depression. As long as I can remember I have either struggled with depression or had feelings of melancholy. I have asked God to take it away from me, seen a psychiatrist, a therapist, I have beaten myself up thinking that if I had greater faith the depression would go away, a friend even anointed me with oil and prayed over me claiming the promise of healing in James 5:14. So far, nothing has taken it away permanently. Not long ago I was in a desperate struggle with depression. I prayed with a life and death earnestness as the dark and wicked lies swirled in my mind like a swarm of vampire bats. I prayed all evening but eventually fell asleep, physically exhausted; my shoulders still weighed down and a giant stone in my stomach. I woke up at 5 am feeling exactly the same. For the next hour and a half, my desperate praying continued. Then, like a break in the clouds, the weight lifted off my shoulders and the pit left my stomach. The sky was clear if not sunny. I had just been through a battle. There was no cheering and celebrating. William Wallace did not lift his broad sword and yell “Freedom!” But the fighting had stopped.

As I went through the day, I realized my side had won. The enemy had retreated. I didn’t see any lightning bolts or hear heavenly trumpet sounds, but I knew God had won the victory. Soon my heart began feeling two emotions that I had thought I would never feel again: peace and joy. During the fight, I didn’t hear God. I didn’t know if God could hear me. Maybe the din of battle affected my hearing, but God had heard me, God had let me fight it out and God had waited until the perfect moment to give me the victory.

I was exhausted and a little frustrated God had let me go through that. Why couldn’t God had pulled off the victory without me suffering the way I had? First Marky Mark and then James the brother of Jesus helped me understand what was happening. Much like the 4 am work out, my battle sucked. It just did. But now, on the other side of the battle, I understand what James meant when he said, “Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.” (James 1:2-4, MSG) God knew I needed to go through the whole fight. God knows that you don’t become a battle-hardened warrior eating Cheetos by the pool. To be battle hardened you actually have to fight the battle.

“God knows you don’t become a battle-hardened warrior eating Cheetos by the pool. To be battle hardened, you actually have to fight the battle.”

Micah Goring

I know many people who are going through much more difficult battles. Long, drawn out battles that last for years. Honestly, I can’t offer any encouragement better than “Embrace the suck.” The battle sucks. No doubt about it. James saw his brother humiliated, crucified, naked, on public display. More than likely he lost his dad while he was still young. He would later be executed for his own faith. James knew a thing or two about tests and challenges coming at him from all directions. But he still says, let it do its work. In other words, embrace the suck. You will emerge on the other side of this test, this battle, stronger in a way you cannot imagine now. You will have the quite confidence of a combat veteran.

I know what I went through was just one battle. This fight is one to be taken seriously. I still see the therapist and I fully expect the next battle to be much harder as my Master guides me through another lesson. When it comes, I will embrace the suck, and carry on to the end.